Slackest blogger EVER.

Slackest blogger EVER... that's me.  I can't believe the last time I updated this thing was in MAY.

Since May a lottttttttt has happened, too much to really go into detail about but here is a brief summary.

June
Emersyn turned 3!!!!

My favourite of our professional wedding photos!

We went and saw the All Blacks playing against France in New Plymouth (... and I sprained my ankle)

July
... nothing of note really comes to mind

August
We went and saw the All Blacks playing against Australia in Wellington

September
We took an impromptu road trip to New Plymouth to see Taranaki play Hawke's Bay... the weather was terrible...
Nan, Poppa, Aunty Terri & Bronté arrived for my birthday weekend

All of the family at our official wedding in September

Mamie arrived from France for a month!!!
We got OFFICIALLY married!  No more civil union for us.  We officially upgraded to marriage!
I turned 30
Aidan turned 6
Lauriel turned 36

October
Gaby turned 7

November
I officially finished my first year of study... start back in February

Us at the game in New Plymouth

What else is happening?
The three older kids are doing great at school, Emersyn is loving preschool!
Me, Lauriel, Gab & Emmy are headed to Christchurch for the Christmas break, while Aidan and Eloise head up to the bach with their dad & his side of the family

..... It is hard to think of everything that has happened since May & I am sure I have probably left something important out... but I will try to be a better blogger from now on and keep you all up to date on the goings on in our slightly crazy household!

Introducing.... Mrs & Mrs Masson-Oakden!

WE ARE MARRIED!

... and do I ever want to get married again?????  NO.
... am I madly madly crazily in love with my WIFE????  HELL YES!

the cops that turned up at our hens night... that WEREN'T strippers...
.... what are the odds???

I have always heard that weddings are stressful, but I never understood just how true that was until the last month or so.  Planning our wedding wasn't stressful when it was deciding a date, deciding on a venue, purchasing dresses and shoes.  But then the big 'one month to go!' mark rolled around, and suddenly there were 1,000,000 decisions to be made, decisions about seemingly pointless things (to me, remember - very un-girly), that I couldn't really have cared about whatever we'd decided...

BUT seeing it all come together as beautifully as it did (hugely in part to the amazing Kath and Sophia), I see now that those 'pointless' things we needed to decide on were all equally important, and without them the wedding would have been just another day.

with my Mum & sister before the wedding

I don't want to talk about the stress any longer though, because it's all in the past now - and it all seems so unimportant, because that stress led to the best day of my life (tied with the birth of both of my babies, my niece and my nephew).

The weather forecast was for showers, but we woke up to BLUE SKY, and throughout the morning the sky turned grey, but it didn't really look like rain... until about an hour before the ceremony was due to start.  We got to the venue and it looked like it'd rain, but it also looked like it would hold off.

The gorgeous Mrs L. Masson-Oakden

We began our march down the aisle.  And it began to rain.  Heavier and heavier and heavier.  By the
time we got to the 'altar' (read:  goalposts) it was starting to rain heavily - and it proceeded to get heavier right throughout the ceremony.  You know what though?  I hardly noticed it.  I KNEW it was raining (my hair was saturated, my shawl was saturated, my face was saturated), but it all kind of took a backseat because the only thing I was focused on was Lauriel, and the fact we were finally getting married!

Our walk down the aisle... in the rain... and wind...

After the ceremony we were supposed to do a sand ceremony, but it was too wet, so the table carrying the marriage register was taken into the changing rooms under one of the grandstands.... the food table was carried through, all our guests came through - and the next two? hours were spent socialising in a rugby changing room.

Lauriel saying her vows

It was strangely perfect for us.

We always joked about getting our photos done in a changing room - and well, ALL our photos (sans a few) were done in one!  I am sure people will look at our photos and go "WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY THINKING?", but what we were thinking is "this is the low key wedding that suits us, just like we always wanted".  We got to spend time with family and friends, we had refreshments, lots of laughs were had.  What more could we want?

After we left the stadium we went to the

After signing the register

Brickhouse for our reception, the girls did an amazing job setting up the room, and walking in I felt truly happy.... wet, but very happy!!!!!  The meal was lovely, the speeches made us cry, and again lots of laughs were had.  It was brilliant, it was exactly what we had hoped for.  Again I am sure a lot of people will raise an eyebrow at how low key it was, and the fact our guests had to purchase their own meals... but from the start nothing about our relationship has been traditional, so it makes sense we had a very untraditional wedding and reception!

After the reception it was back home with our

Our beautiful wedding party

four gorgeous kids and two of my best friends in the world.  The kids went to bed - and were asleep within minutes, then we did what we do best.

Got out of our dresses.  Put on our jammies.  Got the appropriate snacks from the cupboard.  Flopped down on the couch.  Turned SkyTV on to channel 30.  And watched  1 1/2 games of rugby.  And we couldn't have been happier.  (minus the loss) it was the perfect end to a perfect day for us.

I would now like to thank all of you who played a part in our big day, particularly our bridesmaids and Marion, our cake making

the four most wonderful, beautiful, amazing bridesmaids
who ever existed...

queen, my Aunty for doing our professional photos for us, Sharyn for all her help over the past few months, Amy for making the GORGEOUS flowergirls dresses, my sister for planning the hens night, my parents for being as wonderful as ever.... and EVERYONE who sent us good wishes for the day, and who was thinking of us, whether they were in Wanganui, another part of New Zealand, another part of the Southern Hemisphere, or in the Northern Hemisphere.  We love you all!

We both have unofficial photos up on Facebook, and I will post a link to an online album for the photographs my Dad took... then when we have our professional photos, we will put them on Facebook and on here.

Ten Days to Go!

This time in 10 days, we will be about 1 hour away from getting married.  Time seems to have suddenly sped up, and we now find ourselves on that final countdown - which is oh so exciting, and also just a tad stressful!  Everything is essentially organised, there are just final little details to iron out.... like y'know - finding a way to assure that the weather forecast for the 13th is sun, sun and more sun!  Tomorrow the 10 day foreceast on the Metservice website will include the 13th, and there better be a nice yellow sun forecast!

The Easter break was full of chocolate - of course, but also full of our patience being tested.  Whoever decided to give school kids a 5 day break really needs their head read.  I know that teachers probably won't agree with me on that, however.  Overall though, the kids were good and played nicely!  On Monday they built a gargantuan tower with the blocks, and all worked very well as a team to complete the tower, though I think if anyone had touched it and broken it prior to the photographical evidence being taken, chances are they'd have been ostracised for the rest of the day. 

the 4 little engineers, all very proud of their work!

Last week Lauriel and I picked up a curling wand for $3.00 - so naturally it didn't take long before we

my little blond curly wurly

began experimenting with it, with surprising success, I may add!  I am the only one who hasn't had her hair curled - well, neither have Emmy or Aidan, but I'm pretty sure I could give Aidan a bit of a flick to his hair!  I have a feeling the curling wand is going to get a lot of use on our wedding day - Gaby has already demanded she has her hair curled, and I think Eloise is rather fond of the idea as well.  And whether she knows it or not, Lauriel is having her hair curled - because she looked gorgeous when I did her hair!  With our outfits all good to go, I think the only thing left to purchase may be some mascara and lipstick.  Neither of us are makeup people, and though we know it looks good with photos, we are opting for minimum makeup - if any.  I'd sooner spend money on rugby tickets, than on makeup I will wear once...  And realistically it'd probably be smudged two seconds into the ceremony, because I'm sure I'll be crying!

The hens night is the night before the wedding  - so that my few guests can actually be there... more to the point, my sister is organising the whole thing, so it's kind of essential that she is there!  All we know is that there is going to be Sing Star at the end of the evening...  The rest is all shrouded in secrecy...  Well, minus the fact we are having an 'adult novelty items' party, courtesy of my sister who is a retailer of said 'adult novelty items'.  I have a feeling the night is going to be verrrrrrrrrry memorable!!!!!

No doubt I'll update again in the coming days... But for now, I am off to write my vows!

.... though I will share the most recent photo of Richie McCaw, because I want to see Lauriel melt when she reads this....

Toilets, School, Rugby & Food Glorious Fooooood!

Hello to all our friends and stalkers!

It's been awhile since we updated, about 5 weeks actually - but don't fear, we are back now!

Emmy showing off her new Dora cup that Nan & Poppa
bought for her in Australia.

A lot has happened in the past few weeks,  the kids are back at school and all doing awesomely!  Emersyn is now (day time) potty trained, she still has the odd accident, but generally it's when she's having so much fun she forgets about the whole toilet thing.  It's nice to not have to deal with poo on a daily basis.  I'm so over poo.  I am also back at school, studying toward my Bachelor of Communication at Massey University - at the moment my major is Journalism Studies & my minor is Expressive Arts, but I think the order of those two may swap.  I don't know.  It's a pity I can't have a double major....  (Or maybe I can?).

Back where we belong... well, the stadium aspect...
Sadly it was in the wrong city!

On March 8 Lauriel and I finally went to a rugby game together... it was a long time coming, our last game was Hawkes Bay v Canterbury, in Oct 2012, in Napier.  This game was in Wellington, the Hurricanes v Crusaders (y'know, OUR men)... sadly we walked away with a frown on our faces, as the Hurricanes won in the last few minutes of the match.  BUT it was great to be back in a rugby atmosphere, and also to be on our own.  Of course we love our kids, but all parents would agree that sometimes you just need that alone time, to do something that isn't Mummy/Daddy related.  At the rugby we are Emma & Lauriel the rugby fans... the rest of the time we are Emma & Lauriel 'the Mums'... the latter is a role we love and adore and wouldn't change for anything, but all the same, a break is nice.  And needed!  Our next game is most likely Hamilton in May (Chiefs v Crusaders), but in July we are very excited to be taking Gaby, Eloise & Aidan to Wellington to see the Hurricanes v Highlander.

Highlanders = Jarrad Hoeata.  Enough said.

Two of our little flowergirls!

Our wedding is approaching rapidly - I think we are now down to about 3 weeks and 3 days to go, and everything is starting to come together, a lot of that is thanks to Lauriel's wonderful bridesmaids, Sophia & Kath.  My sister is planning the hens night - she is a seller for Cocobella, who sell.... 'adult novelty products', and to be honest, I'm a little scared to see what she has up her sleeve!  There is a lot of secrecy surrounding it - well, as far as Lauriel and I go... but we know our bridesmaids will make sure nothing too dreadful goes down.  (Those of you with dirty minds can stop giggling right now!).  The girls got their flowergirls dresses this weekend just been, and they are AMAZING... made by the fabulous Amy at Little Miss Tutu.

We have been doing a lot of baking and cooking in the McBonbon household.  Lauriel and I both loved baking and cooking prior to living together, but there is something to be said about having another adult to share the fruits of your labour with... someone who you KNOW will appreciate what you've cooked, rather than looking at it and going 'it looks gross, I am not eating it'.  Generally our baking and cooking has been very successful, but we are still fine tuning the oven, which tends to burn very easily.  As proof, here are some photos of our various baking/cooking sessions...

Lauriel's (pink!) almond meringue drops

Sponge cake!

Cooooookies!

an enormous cookie just for me! my wifey-to-be is the BEST!

Almond & pear tart... this was sooooo good

Slow cooker vege soup, prior to cooking

Because I'm sure at least one person will ask, here are the recipes for the almond meringue drops & the tart!

Almond meringue drops
Pear & Almond tart

Fresh Start. And No, McBonbon isn't a Legal Change!

We are officially living in our OWN house.  A house that is neither mine, nor Lauriel's - but OURS.  Mine & hers.  Hers & Mine. 

... and of course that quartet of slightly crazy kiddos who call us Mum / Step Mum / 'the Mums'.

Gaby & Aidan in their new room

We moved at the start of February, and already things seem to be a little harmonious between the kidlets, which could be down to them getting used to each other, but I think it's more to do with the fact they aren't all squeezed into one bedroom, one tiny house or one tiny yard.  We have room to breathe people, and that's a beautiful thing!  Gaby and Aidan are sharing a room (they have bunks & thinks they are just the bees knees!), and Eloise and Emmy are sharing a room.  So far Eloise and Emmy are winning the 'first asleep room' award, but I have a feeling that whatever room buddy configuration we use, the room that contains Gaby is going to be the last asleep.  My sweet little chatterbox!

We still have some unpacking to do, but for the most part I think we are settled in... We are no longer on our feet all day, nor are we constantly looking through boxes to find something we NEEEEEED but can't find.  Did I mention our awesome kitchen?  With cupboards that actually close and stay closed?  That's a major novelty for me, and probably a lot of people who lived in (or still live in) post-earthquake Christchurch...  We also have a wall oven, which is something I have always thought is super fancy.. and now... I HAVE A WALL OVEN...  I feel super fancy Nancy!

With that fancy Nancy wall oven, we have been doing a LOT of baking - and I must say, I'm starting to feel like quite the domestic goddess.  Well, goddess may be a bit of an overstatement, but I am feeling like an adult, for the first time in my adult life.  Baking for my family.  Cooking for my family.  Cleaning up after them....  Ahhhhh this really is an awesome life.

As I mentioned, school has started back <insert hallelujah chorus here> OH WAIT I CAN!

Gaby is loving the new school, and loves her teacher - and they have been going swimming everyday, so she is basically in heaven!  Aidan and Eloise are also back into the swing of things at school, but I have to say there is a big difference between having 1 child to get ready for school, and having THREE to get ready!  But we get there, and usually by 8.40am, which I think is pretty damn awesome of us.  But we ARE awesome.

Gaby on her first day at her new school!

The girls and I have been up here for a month now, and Wanganui is really starting to feel like home - which I guess is no surprise when everyone has been so welcoming.  Lauriel's friends have accepted me with open arms (some literally), so there has been no loneliness for me - no sitting there and feeling like I'm on the outer, because I know I'm not.  Of course when everyone is so awesome, there has to be one person to screw it all up.  One person who can't be happy for us, who can't accept the fact that other peoples relationships are better than his own, who can't stand to see the friend who helped him through a horrible time, happy. 

So to him we say sayonara sucker...  Hasta la vista, baby..  Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.

We don't need that type of fucked up negativity in our lives, so all contact has been cut.

Oakden?  Masson?  Masson-Oakden? Oakden-Masson?
Oakson?  Masden?
... McBONBON?????????????

Now for the 'McBonbon thing'.  Lauriel is now officially divorced (scroll back up, play the Hallelujah Chorus again, if you so wish) so we were discussing what our surname would be when we get married (yes, I know, technically it's a civil union)... Would she take my surname?  Would we hyphenate?  Would we blend our names to make a new one?  Would we just make a new name altogether?  We then asked on facebook, for name suggestions, and our adopted brother-type-thing suggested we could be the McBonbons.  We laughed about it.  Such a silly name.

The following day we changed our name to McBonbon, on facebook.

THIS IS NOT A LEGAL CHANGE.  We are not 'the McBonbons'.  Well, not yet.  The name IS kind of sticking.  Emma & Lauriel McBonbon.  It doesn't sound awful...

And in other exciting news, today is February 13th, meaning that today there are TWO MONTHS until our wedding!  Plans are well underway, all that we really need to do now is get creating (DIY wedding all the way, baby!) and get paying.  The paying part isn't exactly fun, but it needs to be done!  The creating on the other hand is going to be fun, and we are lucky to have some very creative people who have offered to help us - we all know that EMMA and creativity don't mix, but I can at least sit and watch and boss people around.  Or glue my fingers together. 

And in more exciting, completely unrelated news... THE SUPER XV STARTS SOON!  Rugby boys!!!!  And tomorrow we are getting Sky installed, which means we can watch the rugby LIVE, and not makedo with videos on YouTube and facebook!  Of course because the Super XV is starting soon, there has been coverage of pre-season shenanigans, and lots of headshots.  Lauriel wanted me to share two photos with you all....  So here they are.

Mr Ryan Crotty... one of our faves...
... especially seeing as Zac and Richie aren't playing.

Mr Jarrad Hoeata... aka Hottyata...
H.  O.  T.

While we are at it, big ups to our old buddy Sean Maitland, who is playing in the Six Nations for Scotland!  He scored a try in his first game, so that of course is very awesome.  We are now over our 'you evil traitor!' feelings for him, and are instead embracing the Scotish rugby team...  It IS a little ironic really...  The Crusaders cup of backline talent was overfloweth, so they gave Mr Maitland the boot...  And now Zac Guildford is out of the team for the year and they are insisting on playing Israel Dagg at centre, so they really need the extra talent - and experience in the backline... the ONE man who can provide that is now in Scotland, reaping the rewards of an international rugby career.    Of course we need to add a photo, because there are a couple of our readers who think he is rather easy on the eye...  So I proudly give you Mr Sean Maitland!

Living in Sin!!! FINALLY!!!!

We are FINALLY officially living in sin (okay, going by various religions & moral compasses, we will always be living in sin due to the lack of penis in our relationship)!   I have to say, it's a hell of a lot of fun as well... even the 'grown up', 'responsible' stuff we've been doing this week (mostly regarding government departments). 

Driving onto the ferry

Our trip up from Christchurch was very much smooth sailing (quite literally for the three hours we were on the ferry!) - the children were amazingly well behaved, I don't think there were any major meltdowns by either of them, and the one time Emmy did get close to tantrum territory was when we were stuck in the car waiting to go onto the ferry... and after putting Peppa Pig on the laptop for her, all tears disappeared and were replaced by laughter and the general happiness that comes with watching Peppa Pig.  It was lovely being able to see parts of the country that I had never seen before - Lauriel and I lost our 'top of the South Island virginity' at the same time, which was very fitting.  In total we were travelling for 13 hours - around 10 of those hours spent in the car... there were about 10 minutes in total when we weren't driving (getting petrol, going through the Wendys drivethru).  I drove the entire way, which was mostly to keep my passenger anxiety at bay (I make an awful passenger)... but it was also a really cool road to drive!  It was extremely hot in Picton, and admittedly quite the bore... but the rest of the trip was pretty cool!

Emmy as SpiderMan

On Tuesday Emersyn started at her new preschool (Little Kiwis Learning Centre, which Aidan also attended), and so far she seems to love it.  There were a few tears when we left on Tuesday (her, not me!), but Wednesday and Friday she seemed to be fine - and on none of those days did the teachers contact me to pick her up because she was inconsolable... quite the success I think, especially considering she had started throwing tantrums whenever I left her at preschool in Christchurch!  Gaby is rather jealous of Emersyn who has started school already - every morning (without fail, trust me) she exclaims how excited she is to be starting school soon.  The next just-under-a-month better go quickly.

Look!  Its Princess Gaby

Between arriving here and now, we have purchased a set of bunks for... well, two of the children to sleep in and a set of drawers, which from the start have been our 'must buy ASAP' items.  Obviously living in a 2 bedroom house with 4 children isn't optimum (or even close to it), so right now we are on the lookout for a bigger house, and it seems we have found one - and it just so happens to belong to one of Lauriel's friend, and could very much be a win-win situation for all involved, due to her friends tenants f*cking her around.  There is a HUGE yard, which we decided is more important than big bedrooms (we looked at a 4br house which had HUGE rooms but a tiny yard) with four very active children who love being outdoors.  Plus that leaves us the opportunity to get them a trampoline for Christmas...

We have also started planning our wedding more seriously - to the extent we have a book especially for wedding related stuff!  Our venue is sorted, date and time are sorted - so yesterday we ordered our wedding invitations... it seemed like the logical step.  Tomorrow is three months until the wedding, so really it is time to get things organised!!!  It's exciting doing so, and makes me feel like I'm actually an adult, which is something I've never really felt like before - for the past 6 years all I have acknowledged myself being is a Mum, which of course is amazing and wonderful, but I never really felt like there was another side to me.  But now I know there is!

Our Playlist: Forever (Six60)

I guess it's something most couples have - various songs that mean something to them, that symbolise a point in their relationship, that symbolise how they feel about each other, etc etc etc.  I'm not sure if it's the long distance aspect, or just the way WE are, but Lauriel and I are both very passionate about OUR songs.  If you're friends with either of us on Facebook, you'll know we often post songs for each other - I think it's yet another way that we can feel close, even with all those pesky kilometers (or miles for those of you in the US, etc) between us.  From very early on, it has been a song that we have known will play a large part in our wedding.

So here is the first of OUR songs, that I am going to share with you - Forever, by (amazing, awesome, brilliant) New Zealand band, Six60.  This song is my ringtone and my alarm on my cellphone, because when the phone rings, or my (stupid, evil) alarm goes off, my first thought is of Lauriel!

I think more than anything, it is the chorus which stands out to us - 'this is forever', it kind of sums up US...

If you want a closer look, here are the lyrics.

[Ad-Lib]
Yeah
Ooh, whoa

[Verse #1]
Look into my eyes
It's the start of my demise
Everything I know and trust
But we shall rise
And much to their surprise
Cos we are not the ones
Whose time has begun, yeah

[Instrumental]

[Chorus]
This is forever, yeah
Baby, they come, they go
But you know I know
This is forever, yeah, yeah
They come, they go
But you know I know, yeah

[Verse #2]
People are our lives
Till they die and send their knives
The stoning of their words
And the malice in their minds
But we shall rise
And much to their surprise
Cos we are not the ones
Whose time has begun, yeah

[Instrumental]

[Chorus]
This is forever, yeah
Baby, they come, they go
But you know I know
This is forever, yeah, yeah
They come, they go
But you know I know

This is forever
This is forever
This is forever
This is forever
This is forever
This is forever
This is forever
This is forever
This is forever
This is forever
This is forever
This is forever

[Chorus]
This is forever, yeah
Baby, they come, they go
But you know I know
This is forever, yeah, yeah
Baby, they come, they go
But you know I know

Forever
Forever
Forever

... Just Your Average Same-Sex Rugby Themed Wedding

Note:  I'm not referring to the official joining of our families as our 'civil union', because in our eyes it is a wedding.  We are making the same commitment to each other that a man and woman make at their wedding, and to us there is no distinction.  The law may say differently, but to US, we are getting MARRIED, not civil unioned, or civil unionised, or civilly unioned, or any other term I could make up. 

From the start it was obvious ours would be a non-traditional wedding, due to the fact we are both women, but also because neither of us are particularly traditional in the girly sense.  Growing up I always liked the idea of the big froofy wedding with all the sparkly, flowery, shiny trimmings - but the moment we decided to get married, those thoughts disappeared, and all I could see for our wedding was a small group of people, somewhere pretty, none of the sparkly, flowery, shiny trimmings.

All the stupid wedding checklists out there told me we needed centre pieces, gifts for our guests to take home with them, table cloths, elaborate flower creations, candles, glass pebbles, bows, a 40 minute ceremony, a deejay, neon lighting, mood lighting, strobe lighting, dry ice, a pink carpet (oh wait, that may have been Big Fat Gypsy Weddings...), a horse drawn carriage (sorry, again, BFGW), a guestbook, children that behave and....  well, you get the gist.  Even before we had started planning OUR wedding, I was thinking about what everyone else would want and expect - and spent many an afternoon feeling angry at stupid societal expectations and conventions that just didn't seem like US.

After a breakdown and a vent to the most fabulous, amazing, wonderful, perfect fiancée in the world, I realised it was time to forget what tradition and convention deem appropriate and acceptable for a wedding (one of those things being a man and a woman, so already we were going against what was right, according to SOME parts of society), and to concentrate on planning a wedding that was perfect for US.  The type of wedding we would look back on in 10, 20, 50 years  time and smile about, giggle about, remember fondly, and think 'that was so us'.

So what IS us, you ask?

Rugby.  THAT is us.

Yes, we are having a rugby themed wedding.  Scoff all you want, roll your eyes all you want, smirk all you like, shake your head all you want, screw up your face all you want - but rugby is US.

All those many months-that-feel-like-years ago, we bonded over rugby - more specifically, we bonded over the All Blacks v France pool game in the RWC2011.  Lauriel was watching it with her kids and ex husband, I was watching it with my parents - and I remember sitting on the floor and texting Lauriel, feeling oh-so proud of her when Cory Jane scored a try and she quickly text me 'Hey!  Your guy got a try!  Yay!'.  That was really the beginning of Lauriel's rugby fixation, and the beginning of US.  Around that time Lauriel pointed out how hot Richie McCaw was, which started phase two of the fixation - and caused Lauriel to pledge her allegiance to the Crusaders rugby team.

Much to my displeasure.  The Highlanders were it for me, and I found it hard to fathom how I could even be friends with this woman who supported the mortal enemy type team of my own team!  But because I'm such a lovely person, I decided to look past that flaw - and we agreed to disagree, when it came to the Highlanders and Crusaders.  However when we'd transitioned from friend and friend to girlfriend and girlfriend, something strange happened - and I started to find myself not half minding the Crusaders, and before long I was facing a lot of inner turmoil... were my allegiances with the Highlanders of my upbringing, or the Crusaders of the love of my life?  Everything came to a head when the Crusaders and Highlanders played in Christchurch in June, and I wrote the following admission on my rugby blog:

Dear World,
I hereby declare that I'm a Crusaders supporter... BUT only because the love of my life is a Crusaders supporter.  And because of Zac.  And Izzy.  And Richie.  And the Whitelocks.  And Kieran Read.  And TinTin.  And DC.  And.. well, everyone except Wyatt Crockett.

Yours traitorly
Emma Oakden.
 

I was officially one of THOSE supporters that I had hated for the entirety of my rugby fanatic life.  A Crusaders/Canterbury supporter.  Much to the disgust of my Blue & Gold supporting Daddy.

Back to our wedding planning.

We acknowledged that rugby was a huge part of us as a couple, and was something that brought us closer together as friends - so it seemed only natural that we would involve that in our wedding plans.  We decided soon after that our colour theme for our wedding would be red and black - and when we started to look at red and black wedding dresses, it became evident that we needed to have wedding dresses that were red or black, or at least had an element of red or black in them.  After months of searching, Lauriel decided on a gorgeous black dress, and I found the dress of my dreams - which is white, but is going to have red elements added to it.  Shoes were the next thing to look for, and I don't think either of us considered traditional white (or any of the 50 shades of white) shoes, instead Lauriel found a pair of to-die-for red and black heels, and I found a gorgeous pair of red ones.  So not only was our general colour theme red and black, so was our outfit colour scheme.  It only made sense that after this we decided our daughters and my niece would be in red and/or black dresses - and that the sole boy (that poor poor poor boy, growing up in a house with 5 females!) would be in a Crusaders or Canterbury top... and I guess he'll be wearing some form of pants (though he does quite like going naked...).

My bling!

In amongst all the exciting colour theme associated planning, we also purchased our wedding rings, and replacement engagement rings - which had always been the plan.  When we officially became engaged, we bought cheapo rings from one of the jewellery shops at the mall, as a kind of make-do ring, until we had a little more money to spend on 'real' rings.  We both now have our 'real' engagement rings safely on our fingers - and have many comments about them... and I find myself taking great enjoyment out of correcting people when they ask about my boyfriend, or the 'he' that gave me the ring.  That may be something that never grows old, and I guess I can take pleasure in it because no one has ever had a blatantly negative comment - it's more a case of "oh, wow, I had no idea!"...  We have been very lucky in that sense, I don't think we've really come across any negativity at all, regarding our relationship & the fact we're two women.  It either says a lot for society, OR (most likely) a lot about our friends, familiy and acquaintances.

When it came to the wedding, we found many pretty venues.. but that's all they were.  Pretty.  They weren't really US, per'se.  They were the type of venue that would be perfect for a wedding - just not OUR wedding.  Then Lauriel (the brilliant woman she is) innocently mentioned that Cooks Gardens had facilities for weddings - and after explaining to me it is the home of Wanganui Rugby, I knew that that was OUR venue.  Suddenly the ideas started to flow.  Get married under the goal posts.  Have the goal posts decorated in red and black.  Hire a bouncy castle for all the kids who will be there.  After the ceremony have a picnic style affair on the rugby field.  When finished at the rugby field, off to the Brickhouse for a meal.

........ then after all the festivities, Lauriel and I are running off to a hotel, where we plan to watch the Crusaders v Force game.  Not everyones idea of the perfect wedding night, but for us I don't think it could be any more perfect!

Introducing US!

Have to love winter - hats are the perfect
bad hair day solution!

Some of you know me personally, some of you know me through Mums and Bums, some of you will know nothing about me whatsoever - and this blog post is mainly for those of you in the latter category!  So go and make yourself a cup of coffee or tea (hot chocolate or a cold drink is more than appropriate too), sit back, relax and read on!

First off, who am I?  I am Emma, 29 years of age.  And alone, I'm boring - really.  But then you add my two gorgeous daughters to the mix, and I'm suddenly a lot more interesting!  My eldest daughter is Gabrielle (aka Gaby), she was born 14 days overdue on October 26, 2006 - she is a lanky, hilarious, intelligent, thoughtful, sensitive little blondy, who upon her arrival into this world, gave my life meaning beyond anything I'd ever known before.  My youngest daughter is Emersyn (aka Emmy) and she was born 1 week early - she's a sweet, funny, cheeky, mischevious, energetic, headstrong two year old.  Yes - by headstrong I mean her favourite word right now is "NO!", and she enjoys telling it to me on an extremely regular basis.  Her arrival taught me that the human capacity for love has no bounds, and that even if you are sure you can't love anyone or anything more than you already do, that you can.  And you will.

My two beauties, November 2012.  (L.Gaby, R. Emmy)

The three of us live in Christchurch - life may be a little shaky here at times, and our pretty little suburb may look a lot worse for wear, but we are happy here.  I moved here in 2001 and of course both of the girls were born here, it's the only home they know, only city they know - and with my parents (Nan and Poppa) living here, it has been host to a lot of happy family memories for all of us.

Little did I know though, that very first earthquake back in September 2010 put in motion a series of events which has eventually resulted in the girls and I making plans to move away from the Christchurch we love so dearly!  I joined a local health and wellbeing forum in August 2010 - Emersyn was about 2 months old and I was on the lookout for other single parents to talk to, and that particular website had a single parents forum, and a group private message.  I thought that sounded like what I needed so I registered, and was immediately in contact with other single mums.

In a word, Christchurch was 'munted'

Fast forward to February 2011 - the really bad earthquake hit, and one of the women from the forum text me to stay in contact and make sure I was okay.  Her name was Lauriel, and I thought it was particularly nice of her to think of me.  Over the next few months we text on and off, but nothing too serious or regular.

Again we fast forward - this time to June 2011.  You guessed it, there was another earthquake (two actually) and I decided that enough was enough, and for the first time since the earthquakes started, I felt the need to escape Christchurch.  I packed the girls up and we went down to Oamaru with my friend who had been staying, we stayed the night there, before heading over to Wanaka to stay with my Grandma for a few days.  Just before I left for Oamaru, I received a text from Lauriel, making sure we were all okay. Over the next few days we started to text each other a lot, and by the time I was ready to leave Wanaka, we were quite literally texting each other all day - we'd text upon waking, we'd text minutes before falling asleep... and when we were back in Christchurch the texting continued, and we found very quickly that we had a LOT in common, so much so that we joked we were twins.

The texting continued and then around the time the Rugby World Cup began, we started to talk on Skype.  Though Lauriel was reluctant to start with, I soon got her interested in rugby, and after the pool match between the All Blacks and France (Lauriel is French), her rugby obsession had officially begun, much to her surprise, and I think also to everyone around her.  The Rugby World Cup came and went, with the All Blacks ending the campaign as the victors, and after that Lauriel and I began talking even more and our friendship grew from strength to strength.

We had very honest conversations about things that you normally wouldn't discuss with someone you didn't actually KNOW in person, but we had that connection right from the start - and nothing was off limits, there was no such thing as TMI (too much information), and if anything, those conversations served to show us that we had even more in common than we had realised.  Before long, we were thinking of each other as best friends, and I felt extremely lucky to have such an amazing woman & friend in my life.

In late November Lauriel told me she'd booked tickets to come down and stay with the girls and I during December/January while her children (Eloise, 8 & Aidan, 5) were with their Dad - and we were both incredibly excited!  As December 28th grew closer and closer, we became more and more excited, and FINALLY that day arrived, but of course not before we had another sizable earthquake on December 23rd, and I had been surprised when my first instinct upon getting out of the mall, was to ring Lauriel and let her know I was okay!

Lauriel's flight was early, and she text me to say she was 'waiting under the big flag' - looking up I groaned as I saw what appeared to be about 20 big flags at regular intervals, so I had to try and look for her, whilst appearing as though I wasn't looking for her, but I soon found her and immediately we hugged and said hello.  There was no awkwardness whatsoever, we began talking straight away, as if we saw each other everyday...  I had to keep reminding myself that it was infact the first time I had been in her presence!

From the word go, things were comfortable between us - and a week into her visit things changed and we realised that we felt a lot more than just friendship for each other... and so began US.  On December 28th Lauriel arrived and we were best friends.  On January 11th Lauriel left and we were in love.

In Napier, on one of our many rugby dates (October 2012)!

The past almost-11 months have been spent mostly apart, though we did manage to see each other for approximately 24 hours in March when Gaby, Terri (my sister) and I went up to Auckland to see Taylor Swift, and Lauriel drove up and met us there.  In April Lauriel came down and we had a week and a bit in the school holidays (also going to see our first rugby game together), then in June, Lauriel came down for a weekend so we could go to watch the All Blacks vs Ireland (again with my sister, and her partner).  A couple of weeks later, Lauriel was back down for a week (and another rugby game) in the July school holidays, and in the September holidays the girls and I flew up to Wellington, where we were met by Lauriel - and then drove to Wanganui, where we stayed for 18 days, giving the kids an opportunity to FINALLY meet (and we went to another rugby game).

Our four gorgeous children, September 2012.

With four children and three exes between us, moving to be together immediately, was not an option, and we knew that we would have to spend time living apart, and for a long time it was an indefinite amount of time...  Then one day, Emersyn's father told me that if the girls and I wanted to move up to be with Lauriel and her kids, that him and his girlfriend would also move up (he has family up there) - and FINALLY we had some hope that finally our long distance relationship would become a thing of the past - and the only distance between us would be the distance between point A and point B, while we were at work during the day.

Gaby's father has never played a HUGE part in her life, so after informing him that I planned to move up north with the girls - and him agreeing to that, we could finally get ourselves sorted and make plans for the big move up to Wanganui.  The thought of leaving my parents was horrible, but at the same time - not being in the same house as Lauriel first thing in the morning and last thing at night was even worse, and I knew it was time to grow up and do what I had to do for MY family.

Together at another rugby game, late June 2012

On December 19th, Lauriel and the kids fly down for Christmas.  On January 2nd Lauriel's kids are flying up to Auckland for their time with their Dad.  Then on January 6th Lauriel, the girls and I are leaving Christchurch and driving to Wanganui.  Flights are booked, the ferry is booked - all that is really left to do is to wait for the magical date to roll around, so we can start our life together, as a somewhat unconventional blended family.

Oh wait!  Did I mention that we're also engaged and are getting married (sorry, having a 'civil union') on April 13th?  And that we have a rugby theme?  More specifically, a red and black (Canterbury, Crusaders) rugby theme.  Considering my Dad is a staunch Otago/Highlanders supporter, I hope he will still agree to walking me down the aisle.  Maybe if I suggest he can wear his Otago jersey?