... and do I ever want to get married again????? NO.
... am I madly madly crazily in love with my WIFE???? HELL YES!
the cops that turned up at our hens night... that WEREN'T strippers...
.... what are the odds???
I have always heard that weddings are stressful, but I never understood just how true that was until the last month or so. Planning our wedding wasn't stressful when it was deciding a date, deciding on a venue, purchasing dresses and shoes. But then the big 'one month to go!' mark rolled around, and suddenly there were 1,000,000 decisions to be made, decisions about seemingly pointless things (to me, remember - very un-girly), that I couldn't really have cared about whatever we'd decided...
BUT seeing it all come together as beautifully as it did (hugely in part to the amazing Kath and Sophia), I see now that those 'pointless' things we needed to decide on were all equally important, and without them the wedding would have been just another day.
with my Mum & sister before the wedding
I don't want to talk about the stress any longer though, because it's all in the past now - and it all seems so unimportant, because that stress led to the best day of my life (tied with the birth of both of my babies, my niece and my nephew).
The weather forecast was for showers, but we woke up to BLUE SKY, and throughout the morning the sky turned grey, but it didn't really look like rain... until about an hour before the ceremony was due to start. We got to the venue and it looked like it'd rain, but it also looked like it would hold off.
The gorgeous Mrs L. Masson-Oakden
We began our march down the aisle. And it began to rain. Heavier and heavier and heavier. By the
time we got to the 'altar' (read: goalposts) it was starting to rain heavily - and it proceeded to get heavier right throughout the ceremony. You know what though? I hardly noticed it. I KNEW it was raining (my hair was saturated, my shawl was saturated, my face was saturated), but it all kind of took a backseat because the only thing I was focused on was Lauriel, and the fact we were finally getting married!
Our walk down the aisle... in the rain... and wind...
After the ceremony we were supposed to do a sand ceremony, but it was too wet, so the table carrying the marriage register was taken into the changing rooms under one of the grandstands.... the food table was carried through, all our guests came through - and the next two? hours were spent socialising in a rugby changing room.
Lauriel saying her vows
It was strangely perfect for us.
We always joked about getting our photos done in a changing room - and well, ALL our photos (sans a few) were done in one! I am sure people will look at our photos and go "WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY THINKING?", but what we were thinking is "this is the low key wedding that suits us, just like we always wanted". We got to spend time with family and friends, we had refreshments, lots of laughs were had. What more could we want?
After we left the stadium we went to the
After signing the register
Brickhouse for our reception, the girls did an amazing job setting up the room, and walking in I felt truly happy.... wet, but very happy!!!!! The meal was lovely, the speeches made us cry, and again lots of laughs were had. It was brilliant, it was exactly what we had hoped for. Again I am sure a lot of people will raise an eyebrow at how low key it was, and the fact our guests had to purchase their own meals... but from the start nothing about our relationship has been traditional, so it makes sense we had a very untraditional wedding and reception!
After the reception it was back home with our
Our beautiful wedding party
four gorgeous kids and two of my best friends in the world. The kids went to bed - and were asleep within minutes, then we did what we do best.
Got out of our dresses. Put on our jammies. Got the appropriate snacks from the cupboard. Flopped down on the couch. Turned SkyTV on to channel 30. And watched 1 1/2 games of rugby. And we couldn't have been happier. (minus the loss) it was the perfect end to a perfect day for us.
I would now like to thank all of you who played a part in our big day, particularly our bridesmaids and Marion, our cake making
the four most wonderful, beautiful, amazing bridesmaids
who ever existed...
queen, my Aunty for doing our professional photos for us, Sharyn for all her help over the past few months, Amy for making the GORGEOUS flowergirls dresses, my sister for planning the hens night, my parents for being as wonderful as ever.... and EVERYONE who sent us good wishes for the day, and who was thinking of us, whether they were in Wanganui, another part of New Zealand, another part of the Southern Hemisphere, or in the Northern Hemisphere. We love you all!
We both have unofficial photos up on Facebook, and I will post a link to an online album for the photographs my Dad took... then when we have our professional photos, we will put them on Facebook and on here.
We are officially living in our OWN house. A house that is neither mine, nor Lauriel's - but OURS. Mine & hers. Hers & Mine.
... and of course that quartet of slightly crazy kiddos who call us Mum / Step Mum / 'the Mums'.
Gaby & Aidan in their new room
We moved at the start of February, and already things seem to be a little harmonious between the kidlets, which could be down to them getting used to each other, but I think it's more to do with the fact they aren't all squeezed into one bedroom, one tiny house or one tiny yard. We have room to breathe people, and that's a beautiful thing! Gaby and Aidan are sharing a room (they have bunks & thinks they are just the bees knees!), and Eloise and Emmy are sharing a room. So far Eloise and Emmy are winning the 'first asleep room' award, but I have a feeling that whatever room buddy configuration we use, the room that contains Gaby is going to be the last asleep. My sweet little chatterbox!
We still have some unpacking to do, but for the most part I think we are settled in... We are no longer on our feet all day, nor are we constantly looking through boxes to find something we NEEEEEED but can't find. Did I mention our awesome kitchen? With cupboards that actually close and stay closed? That's a major novelty for me, and probably a lot of people who lived in (or still live in) post-earthquake Christchurch... We also have a wall oven, which is something I have always thought is super fancy.. and now... I HAVE A WALL OVEN... I feel super fancy Nancy!
With that fancy Nancy wall oven, we have been doing a LOT of baking - and I must say, I'm starting to feel like quite the domestic goddess. Well, goddess may be a bit of an overstatement, but I am feeling like an adult, for the first time in my adult life. Baking for my family. Cooking for my family. Cleaning up after them.... Ahhhhh this really is an awesome life.
As I mentioned, school has started back <insert hallelujah chorus here> OH WAIT I CAN!
Gaby is loving the new school, and loves her teacher - and they have been going swimming everyday, so she is basically in heaven! Aidan and Eloise are also back into the swing of things at school, but I have to say there is a big difference between having 1 child to get ready for school, and having THREE to get ready! But we get there, and usually by 8.40am, which I think is pretty damn awesome of us. But we ARE awesome.
Gaby on her first day at her new school!
The girls and I have been up here for a month now, and Wanganui is really starting to feel like home - which I guess is no surprise when everyone has been so welcoming. Lauriel's friends have accepted me with open arms (some literally), so there has been no loneliness for me - no sitting there and feeling like I'm on the outer, because I know I'm not. Of course when everyone is so awesome, there has to be one person to screw it all up. One person who can't be happy for us, who can't accept the fact that other peoples relationships are better than his own, who can't stand to see the friend who helped him through a horrible time, happy.
So to him we say sayonara sucker... Hasta la vista, baby.. Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.
We don't need that type of fucked up negativity in our lives, so all contact has been cut.
Now for the 'McBonbon thing'. Lauriel is now officially divorced (scroll back up, play the Hallelujah Chorus again, if you so wish) so we were discussing what our surname would be when we get married (yes, I know, technically it's a civil union)... Would she take my surname? Would we hyphenate? Would we blend our names to make a new one? Would we just make a new name altogether? We then asked on facebook, for name suggestions, and our adopted brother-type-thing suggested we could be the McBonbons. We laughed about it. Such a silly name.
The following day we changed our name to McBonbon, on facebook.
THIS IS NOT A LEGAL CHANGE. We are not 'the McBonbons'. Well, not yet. The name IS kind of sticking. Emma & Lauriel McBonbon. It doesn't sound awful...
And in other exciting news, today is February 13th, meaning that today there are TWO MONTHS until our wedding! Plans are well underway, all that we really need to do now is get creating (DIY wedding all the way, baby!) and get paying. The paying part isn't exactly fun, but it needs to be done! The creating on the other hand is going to be fun, and we are lucky to have some very creative people who have offered to help us - we all know that EMMA and creativity don't mix, but I can at least sit and watch and boss people around. Or glue my fingers together.
And in more exciting, completely unrelated news... THE SUPER XV STARTS SOON! Rugby boys!!!! And tomorrow we are getting Sky installed, which means we can watch the rugby LIVE, and not makedo with videos on YouTube and facebook! Of course because the Super XV is starting soon, there has been coverage of pre-season shenanigans, and lots of headshots. Lauriel wanted me to share two photos with you all.... So here they are.
Mr Ryan Crotty... one of our faves... ... especially seeing as Zac and Richie aren't playing.
Mr Jarrad Hoeata... aka Hottyata... H. O. T.
While we are at it, big ups to our old buddy Sean Maitland, who is playing in the Six Nations for Scotland! He scored a try in his first game, so that of course is very awesome. We are now over our 'you evil traitor!' feelings for him, and are instead embracing the Scotish rugby team... It IS a little ironic really... The Crusaders cup of backline talent was overfloweth, so they gave Mr Maitland the boot... And now Zac Guildford is out of the team for the year and they are insisting on playing Israel Dagg at centre, so they really need the extra talent - and experience in the backline... the ONE man who can provide that is now in Scotland, reaping the rewards of an international rugby career. Of course we need to add a photo, because there are a couple of our readers who think he is rather easy on the eye... So I proudly give you Mr Sean Maitland!
We are FINALLY officially living in sin (okay, going by various religions & moral compasses, we will always be living in sin due to the lack of penis in our relationship)! I have to say, it's a hell of a lot of fun as well... even the 'grown up', 'responsible' stuff we've been doing this week (mostly regarding government departments).
Driving onto the ferry
Our trip up from Christchurch was very much smooth sailing (quite literally for the three hours we were on the ferry!) - the children were amazingly well behaved, I don't think there were any major meltdowns by either of them, and the one time Emmy did get close to tantrum territory was when we were stuck in the car waiting to go onto the ferry... and after putting Peppa Pig on the laptop for her, all tears disappeared and were replaced by laughter and the general happiness that comes with watching Peppa Pig. It was lovely being able to see parts of the country that I had never seen before - Lauriel and I lost our 'top of the South Island virginity' at the same time, which was very fitting. In total we were travelling for 13 hours - around 10 of those hours spent in the car... there were about 10 minutes in total when we weren't driving (getting petrol, going through the Wendys drivethru). I drove the entire way, which was mostly to keep my passenger anxiety at bay (I make an awful passenger)... but it was also a really cool road to drive! It was extremely hot in Picton, and admittedly quite the bore... but the rest of the trip was pretty cool!
Emmy as SpiderMan
On Tuesday Emersyn started at her new preschool (Little Kiwis Learning Centre, which Aidan also attended), and so far she seems to love it. There were a few tears when we left on Tuesday (her, not me!), but Wednesday and Friday she seemed to be fine - and on none of those days did the teachers contact me to pick her up because she was inconsolable... quite the success I think, especially considering she had started throwing tantrums whenever I left her at preschool in Christchurch! Gaby is rather jealous of Emersyn who has started school already - every morning (without fail, trust me) she exclaims how excited she is to be starting school soon. The next just-under-a-month better go quickly.
Look! Its Princess Gaby
Between arriving here and now, we have purchased a set of bunks for... well, two of the children to sleep in and a set of drawers, which from the start have been our 'must buy ASAP' items. Obviously living in a 2 bedroom house with 4 children isn't optimum (or even close to it), so right now we are on the lookout for a bigger house, and it seems we have found one - and it just so happens to belong to one of Lauriel's friend, and could very much be a win-win situation for all involved, due to her friends tenants f*cking her around. There is a HUGE yard, which we decided is more important than big bedrooms (we looked at a 4br house which had HUGE rooms but a tiny yard) with four very active children who love being outdoors. Plus that leaves us the opportunity to get them a trampoline for Christmas...
We have also started planning our wedding more seriously - to the extent we have a book especially for wedding related stuff! Our venue is sorted, date and time are sorted - so yesterday we ordered our wedding invitations... it seemed like the logical step. Tomorrow is three months until the wedding, so really it is time to get things organised!!! It's exciting doing so, and makes me feel like I'm actually an adult, which is something I've never really felt like before - for the past 6 years all I have acknowledged myself being is a Mum, which of course is amazing and wonderful, but I never really felt like there was another side to me. But now I know there is!
Yesterday Lauriel and I celebrated our one year anniversary!!!
A long time ago, we said we hoped we'd be living together by the time 1 year rolled around, but I don't think either of us thought it would actually happen (so soon, not in general!) - but January 4 2013 rolled around, and we were indeed living together on that day. Sure, we may have been in a bit of a halfway house (ie my wonderful parents), but there are no tearful goodbyes in our future, so technically we reached our goal.
The stand right behind us, that's where we sat on June 16th and watched the All Blacks v Ireland... not to mention our first game together (Stormers), and our third game together (Hurricanes, with Lauren). and hopefully we'll get to the stadium once or twice in 2013, though it won't be quite as easy
This morning after leaving the motel, we stopped at Christchurch Stadium to say goodbye - it won't be a surprise to those of you who know that Christchurch Stadium is the home of the Crusaders, and also where we saw the All Blacks play, so it just HAD to be done. We also said goodbye to Rugby Park... for similar reasons (as the name of the ground would suggest) - I don't think there are any other places which hold significance to us that we had to say goodbye to... That said, we did have to say goodbye to Lauren, which was my first tear inducing goodbye. Later in the morning it was Jason (Emmy's Daddy) - another tear inducer....
Ribs at Lonestar... om nom nom nom nommmmm
Right now it's 8.45pm on Saturday 5th January, 2013. In 12 hours time we will hopefully be about 75 minutes out of Christchurch - headed for the ferry in Picton, before jumping back in the car in Wellington and heading for our final port of call - Wanganui. In about 24 hours time we should be home - and my facebook 'current city' status thing can be changed from 'Christhurch, New Zealand' to 'Wanganui, New Zealand'. I will no longer be a South Islander, I will be a North Islander. In the space of a single day, I will go from being an East Coaster, to a West Coaster. Lauriel's house will become OUR house... and then we can start the real search for our OWN (rental) house.
Dessert time!!!! As Emmy would say, 'Mmmm delicious!'
The car is packed - and when I say packed, I mean it in every sense of the word. Every spare nook and cranny is taken up by clothing, toys, books, bags, scooters (x2), blankets, sheets, pillows, boxes. If I find anything that isn't packed, it's going to be a case of TOUGH LUCK, and getting it couriered up if whatever it is is deemed urgent enough (y'know - like the kids).
After all the build up, January 6th is ALMOST here... We've spent so many months working toward this date, and now that we're essentially there, the next big date to work toward is April 13th... the day we shall officially become stuck with each other forever and ever. And ever. AND EVER. Before April 13th, there IS the beginning of the school year on February 7th, which will be Gaby's first day at Durie Hill School - and she is uber excited that she's going to be going to a school WITH A SWIMMING POOL, and NO UNIFORM!
Our route tomorrow... including a 3 hour ferry ride across Cook Strait
A year ago, Lauriel and I were probably sitting on my couch - getting ready to watch the RWC 2011 DVD that we had both purchased copies off that day (along with buying a RWC 2011 related book each)... There is no doubt in my mind we'd have been laughing, giggling like idiots, making rude jokes, and feeling that the two of us being on the same couch, in the same room, in the same house, in the same suburb, in the same city, was quite simply meant to be. Little did we know that 5 days later the 'meant to be' aspect of US would evolve into something a lot more intense and forever-ish (that's a word... or it is now).
Pav... we ate a LOT of Pav...
A year ago neither of us would have imagined we'd be HERE right now. Me sitting at the table blogging, Lauriel on the chair with Aidan on her leg, and Eloise.... well, lets pretend she's not in the toilet right now! We didn't know we'd be in love, we didn't know we'd be 3 1/2 months away from our wedding, or 8 days away from the girls and I moving up to Wanganui to live with Lauriel, Eloise & Aidan! We knew we'd be best friends, but I guess we both assumed our friendship would be played out via text and Skype...
It's verrrrrrry funny the way things work out!
Three of our fantabulous kiddos
Lauriel and the kiddos have been here for over a week now - and I have to say that other than a few little spats, the kids are getting on really well... I am enjoying life as a parent to 4 kids, even if it is more stressful than 2, though I think that's more related to the adjustment we're all going through. I wouldn't change anything - I really wouldn't. Like I've said before, I believe everything happens for a reason, and although I know that in Lauriel's mind the perfect situation would be us living here, in Christchurch - but Christchurch just can't be part of the equation for now. From the start we have wanted to be together, and have said we'd do what we had to do to live together - and Wanganui is that for us right now.
Don't get me wrong - I'd love if we COULD stay in Christchurch - but when it comes down to it, for me it's not about WHERE we are living... just that we are there TOGETHER. We could live in Ethiopia and I wouldn't give a rats ass, as long as we were there TOGETHER. We've had our 12 months of living apart, and if those 12 months taught me one thing, they taught me that I NEED to be with Lauriel, I NEED to be living with the love of my life and our four beautiful, sweet, funny, amazing, kooky, cheeky kids.
Look! It's us!!! TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!!! do the amount of exclamation marks, suggest how excited I am?
On Wednesday at 4.50pm, Lauriel and the kids arrived! We are no longer in a long distance relationship, we no longer have to say "I love you" over the phone or via text (though we still text it to each other - old habits die hard), we no longer have a count down to when we can be together again, we are no longer saying 'when we live together'.... We ARE living together.
The four kiddos waving Poppa off, on Friday morning.
The children are all getting along well - and most surprisingly, Eloise and Gaby appear to be getting on extremely well. I'm not sure why they are getting along well, but we sure as hell aren't questioning it! Gaby seems to understand that Eloise doesn't like being crowded by her, and enjoys having time to herself - while Eloise seems to have more of an understanding of what this time is like for Gaby, moving houses, leaving her Grandparents (& her father, though that's not as devastating for her). This morning they enjoyed drawing Big Fat Gypsy-esque dresses & girls, and awhile later they were colouring in together. Perhaps creativity is their little niche, as far as having things in common goes.
Eloise & Gaby sitting in a tree...
Yesterday we had our first family photo taken - which also counted as our first Christmas photo, and first Santa photo. Yes, we ALL got our photo taken with Santa. They had a hard time fitting us all in the frame. It's rather weird when your family suddenly doubles in size - who would have thought the impact would reach as far as the bloody frame on a camera???? We pick up our photo today, and yes - of course we will post the photo! Last night we took the 3 oldest kids to have a look at various Christmas lights around the eastern suburbs, and I think they all had a good time - perhaps if they are good we will go hunting for lights, another night... Especially if they go straight to sleep afterward, like they did last night. Sleep has probably been the one area where we've had some little issues - that said, they aren't rowdy or whiny while trying to go to sleep... I think the three older ones are just enjoying the novelty of having someone else in the bedroom with them, to talk to and laugh with... I do hate to think how many rolls of toilet paper have been gone through though, because all of the older kids seem to need to go to the toilet about 50 times before they do finally go to sleep!!!
The kids have had a lot of time with Nan and Poppa - and I think it's quite the novelty for them, to have a little boy in the house!!! Eloise and Gaby enjoyed a supermarket trip with Nan, and I think Aidan is chomping at the bit to have a little ride on Poppa's motorbike! Nan and Poppa seem to be enjoying having all the kids in the house, but we might see if they still feel that way in another few days!
Tonight is officially THE last night that Lauriel and I will be spending apart. Tomorrow afternoon her and the kids arrive - and we are stuck together for the rest of our lives... Forever and ever and ever and EVER.
It's been a LONG year, but at the same time - looking back, it has really gone pretty fast... and although we are going to be settling in Wanganui, as opposed to Christchurch like we really wanted, things seem to have fallen into place relatively effortlessly, which is part of why we both know this is meant to be. Meeting was effortless. Becoming best friends was effortless. Falling in love was completely effortless... The only real effort has been mental - reminding ourselves day in and day out, that one day all the distance between us, would be worth it.
.... and that day is very very VERY nearly here!
OF COURSE there is only one thing left to do - and that is sign off using the most obvious song for this occasion...
Gaby and Emersyn having their first cuddle in Cowlishaw Street 20th June, 2010.
Yesterday was the end of the era for myself & the girls - we moved out of the Cowlishaw Street house which has been home to us since August 21, 2008. We are now living with my parents - I guess you could refer to it as a pseudo-halfway house for us, as we are living here before we leave for Wanganui on January 6th.
MANY milestone type events have happened while I have lived in the Cowlishaw Street house...
my heart was broken for the first time
Emersyn was conceived
there was a huge earthquake
I brought baby Emersyn home from the hospital
there was an enormous earthquake
my gorgeous niece was born
Emersyn turned 1
Emersyn and Gaby both experienced their first big snow
Gaby turned 5 & became a big school girl
I fell in love
Surveying a little earthquake damage
When I look at the list that way, it seems very apt that when I moved into Cowlishaw Street I was soon experiencing heartbreak for the first time - but upon leaving, I am right in the midst of experiencing the most amazing, intense, wonderful, mindblowing love... It's amazing how things change and develop... but when I look back on it, my time in Cowlishaw was full of development... my own personal development as a person & mother, the development of my own little familiy unit, and the development of my children. I also firmly believe that everything that happened in Cowlishaw Street (as with most of my adult life) led to me meeting the love of my life - and yes, that could more be me trying to look on the positive side of the few shitty things that did happen while I lived in Cowlishaw Street, but I know it's not...
One of the many happy family moments
Who would have thought a year ago when Lauriel and I were excited about her little trip down after Christmas, that in a years time we would be even more excited about the fact she was coming down again - and that I would be going back up with her, to live. To merge our families. To get married. To start our forever. Come think of it, a year ago we were bemoaning the fact we felt as if we were going to be single forever, destined (I won't say doomed, because that isn't accurate) to life as a single parent, with some Grandkids running around eventually. Neither of us ever imagined that our lives could infact be the total opposite, that we'd meet someone amazing who wanted to spend the rest of their lives with us & our kids. We never for one second entertained the thought that for each other we would be THAT person.
Mummy & Emmy hijinx
Mummy & Gaby lovin'
If houses had the capacity to think, or to be aware of what goes on between its floor and roof, I would like to think that my house would think it was quite awesome that a big out of the blue love story had played out inside it. The last year of my life in Cowlishaw Street was the most amazing year of my life, and I think that it's a very happy, positive way to end a variety of eras - the end of MY era in Cowlishaw, the end of mine & Lauriel's single parenting era, but also the end of the 15B Cowlishaw Street era. I have NO idea when 'my' house will be getting demolished, but feel quite honoured that MY great love story is the last of any story to be experienced and lived, in that house.
